Today we went to a rehabilitation center for those with mental and physical disabilities. Already when hearing the news at breakfast of our destination, I was conflicted. While yes, volunteering to make soap for this center is a good activity to do, no consideration was taken for us students about going there. I know that sounds insensitive and whiny, but at least we should have been clearly told what the place was before we got on the bus. We should have been informed about the type of conditions we might see there, and they should have made sure that everyone was comfortable with going. Many people are often deeply uncomfortable with places like nursing homes, hospice centers, or rehabilitation centers such as this one.
When we got there, I didn’t mean to act like I did. When I started breaking down it was something that I didn’t realize had been happening and I couldn’t control it. I looked for a way out, and then to my horror saw that my entire breakdown was being caught on camera while I was struggling for composure. That pushed me over the edge, I barely made it to the bathroom before I was overtaken by shock. It’s not as if I can describe it as just sadness that overtook me. No, it was more of a swell of mixed emotions, all crashing down on me at the same time. It took me several minutes before I regained ahold of myself. Even after that while we were making soaps, I still found it very difficult to keep my composure. I’m glad we made soaps, it gave me something external to focus on. I’m glad the program donated to this center, they do good work. The patients there seem happy, and the environment is good. But, this program needs to check with people first before they send them into a sensitive area.